"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
