i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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