rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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