I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
