Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
