remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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