Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
