I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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