the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
