weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
