Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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