is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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