I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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