Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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