I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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