I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize