rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
