Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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