i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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