Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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