How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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