No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
