woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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