Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
