R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
