I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
