I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
