My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
