Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
