wat bout pragnant strippers??
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
