Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
