You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
