The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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