some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Sober January is a disaster.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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