Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
