also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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