your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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