yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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