Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He kissed a someone with a penis
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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