i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
