I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
