i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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