I accidentally burped into my bong.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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