shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
