I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
