he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
