If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
