i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
