so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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