I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
