Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
