you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
