hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
