Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
