1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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