i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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