I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
