I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We're too hungover to prance.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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