Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
