i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
