Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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